The way that Russians relate to people they don't know doesn't always "make sense" to those not born and raised in this country. For example, Adam and I were at a local restaurant for Valentine's Day and our tea pot didn't work at all. The spout was chipped so tea just spilled all over the table every time we tried to use it. Adam called the waitress over and asked for a new tea pot because ours didn't work. She proceeded to show us how to use a tea pot as though we were total idiots. (No, you pick it up and pour the tea out HERE.) I tried again: the spout is broken, so the tea pot doesn't work. "Ah, I see," she said. And walked away. That was the end of that little discussion, which just added to tone of the day; we had just come from a cafe where they messed up our order and, when called out on it, said, "Just try that, it's good!" Here the customer is always, and I mean always, wrong. And not only wrong, but most likely an idiot, plus wasting your time to boot.
On the other hand, once you are in with Russians, you are IN, and that transformation can be instantaneous. When Adam and I were looking for a dentist's office the other day, we accidentally walked into a dental lab. (Who advertises a dental lab, with a big picture of a smiling tooth no less...) The woman behind the counter would not even hear me out. But then, miraculously, this other woman came to my aid. Asked me what I needed. Started making phone calls. (They do, after all, have some connections in the city.) Suddenly the woman behind the counter was all smiles and friendliness. It's like she realized 'OH, WE LIKE THESE PEOPLE! MY MISTAKE!" Same thing at the local market where I buy fruits. There is a really nice boy there from Azerbaijan, probably somewhere around 18 years old. His uncle also works there, though, and was just the least friendly person of all time. But one day he saw us talking to his nephew and now he asks how we are every day even when Latsin isn't there! Common courtesy doesn't exist, but if you do something out of the ordinary (say accidentally steal garlic and then take money back a week later), everything is hunky dory!
AND, when someone is really your friend, they will do just about anything for you. I have just finished my first month in my own place thanks to Sasha. He spent hours on the phone calling places, arguing with agents, scheduling, etc. to get me this place. I didn't even see the place before we took it because of my work schedule! Now I spend almost no time at work because I am cooking, hanging with my friends, watching Russian soap operas (theme: teen girl wants to work and get an education, but her 19 year old husband demands children immediately), listening to music...I feel like this is the thing that is really going to make my year in Russia fun/happy/rewarding. At the end of the day, Kamila just didn't want to live with anyone else, and neither did I. (Of course, my bathroom sink fell off the wall, the faucets stopped working, and the kitchen sink clogged within my first week, but that is all part of the package here. There has also been some issue with my boss wanting to "call the host" and me just having to reiterate that this is my private life and I really don't want her to interfere or talk to my land lady in any way.)
And, actually, having a place has really opened my eyes to the financial situation in this city. I make about 16,000 rubles every month, which is around $500. I also get Russian lessons valued at another 2,000 rubles. So, it seems low and I even complained about it a lot at first. After all, I can barely pay for my own place (10,000 rubles a month) and a modest living. However, the average income here, for adult university grads, is 15,000 rubles. I was floored to find that out. People literally cannot live on their incomes. My frustrated "I can't take this anymore, it is worth it to get my own place and have less spending money" whim was something that almost no one in this city could afford. Families of four live in apartments with one bedroom on the outskirts of town; the parents sleep on a pull-out couch in the living room. We have students who don't live alone because they take English classes here. It made me feel bad, like some spoiled American marching in, throwing money around without even realizing that it is significant, expecting the cushiness of life in America. It reminded me of what I thought of other Carleton students when I first started college; these are people who don't even realize that they have been spoiled.
Anyway, I have also run into some of the cultural clashes with Russian hosting. Hosts here do EVERYTHING. They always have mountains of food, alcohol, entertainment. And then there's me: hey, want to come by for a big tonight? Maybe we could watch some t.v. or something.
Actually, it isn't usually a problem, but I did have one big party with a few awkward moments. Everyone called and asked "Should we bring something?" I said, "Oh you know, well you don't have to do that, but if you want, you can bring a little something to drink or whatever." Everyone showed up without anything. Artem even said "HEY! We should have brought something! Why didn't you tell us to?" Me: I thought I did?
Next, Sasha asks me if he can have a banana. Me: We are going to use those for banana splits in a minute. Are you hungry? Sasha: Oh, no no no, I just ate. Me: O.k. (two minutes later) Sasha: What do you have? Me: Let me show you! Do you want something? Him: Oh, no, I just wanted to see how you are settling in. Me: Seriously, do you want to eat something? I am asking you. Sasha: No.
Then after we bust out the banana splits, he comes out with, "This is great, I was SO hungry, I was thinking I'd have to go get something!" Keep in mind this is a good friend of mine who I have had some very frank conversations with; we have talked a lot about cultural differences and being guests, and how we just have to be really honest with each other sometimes to avoid cultural misunderstandings. He did remember to ask if he could help with the dishes, though, which was super cool, since Russians WILL NOT follow a host into the kitchen, not even to keep company. It was almost chaos when I told everyone they should come make their own banana splits...
Anyway, in two weeks I am giving a lecture in Russian about my experiences here and cultural differences and so on, which I'm super pumped about. I'm going to get to that now. Love you all!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Being sick in Russia....
So, Russian health care. It is a lot cheaper, and in fact I am considering getting braces here, since the cost of having them put on is about twice as much as having the dentists in America look at your teeth. You know, just taking a look to tell you what they recommend as far as braces go. But, before it starts sounding too good, let me just tell you all that being sick in this country is basically a nightmare.
First of all, even Russians will tell you to avoid Russian hospitals like the plague, probably because the plague is most likely rampant in the hospitals here. So what do you do when you get sick in this country? This is a vital question because Russians are sick ALL THE TIME. And when they are sick, they tell you about it. A lot. And they don't come to class or work. It is common knowledge that you can be too sick to go to class one day and show up the next day without a symptom in sight. It isn't just a matter of you should stay home, you MUST stay home. And no way Jose can you question someone who was "sick" about it.
Anyway, let me tell you what sorts of things go on to prevent and stop illness. First, tea. Lots of it, very hot, with lemon. Not sounding too weird yet? Add a virus-killing machine that you can park next to your desk. Virus-KILLING?-- you ask. The rest of the world is not yet aware that viruses can be KILLED. But that is Russia for you. Don't argue, don't go out without a hat on, don't sit on the floor or anything cold, and above all do NOT open a window if you feel too hot. You may open a window, but then you must leave the room, and only come back when you close the window. Cold air is in fact, ok, but THE DRAFT will kill you. Immediately. And all your future children. Which you'll be lucky to have anyway after sitting on that cold stone, and WHY DIDN'T YOU DRINK THAT 5TH CUP OF TEA LIKE I TOLD YOU?????? The weird thing is, this is not just the old women and the folk lore of the country. Everyone believes this. More than believes, KNOWS it to be true. Young people! University-educated, self-proclaimed doctors and lawyers!
It is something that really has to be experienced to be believed. (My adult students telling me that it is HEALTHY to jump into ice water at night in the winter because it is cold outside. In the summer, you must avoid cold water like Russian hospitals because it is HOT outside. It isn't good to cool down if you are hot.) Strangers on the street, who in this country would not stop to pick up an old woman if she fell (true), will stop to yell at you to put on a hat!
So I had a bit of an issue being sick because despite the fact that I was American sick (actually sick), my boss was pretty sure that I was not doing all I could to come back to work quickly. While also telling me to go home, because I was going to get everyone sick. She actually couldn't quite make up her mind what she was telling me, to be quite honest. "GO HOME IMMEDIATELY! But, you are coming to work tomorrow, right?" "If I'm better." (LOOOOONG measuring look + awkward silence.) I also, most unfortunately, did not have a high temperature. Now, much as I trust the $1 thermometer I bought, I was sweating, dehydrated and burning up with the window open in the middle of a winter night. This was not good enough. On every one of the 5-6 calls a day I was receiving, I was required to cite the NUMBERS. (In Celsius, so I actually had no idea what I was telling her anyway.) "That isn't high, you are ok." (I, in fact, am NOT ok. That I can assure you of. In fact, I have not been this sick in YEARS.) Also, apparently there is NO way that thermometer could malfunction. No possible way? NONE. Anyway, last night I stepped on it and shattered it, so maybe now there is a possible way it doesn't work.
Just to finish this blog up, let me recount what I learned about Russian childbirth, which takes place in Russian hospitals, and is also probably one of the worst things I have learned about in this country. 1.) Women are not allowed to have anyone in the room with them while they are in labor. Alone, or with the doctor, for the entire time. It is to protect against germs. Oh, of course, that is unless they want to pay a lot of extra money. Money does have a way of killing germs, that is for sure. 2.) After the baby is born, they immediately take it from the new mother and put it in a germ-free baby ward for a week. The mother is allowed to feed the baby a few times a day; for the other numerous feedings, the nurses give the baby formula. Most babies lose weight their first week. Of course, if you want your baby with you for that first week, you can pay extra for that. You will of course still be in the hospital, because you are not allowed to leave until that week is up either.
There is something really, really wrong with all this. There really are a lot of weirdly incomplete ideas and logic failures here, which just don't make sense since the foundation is there for a scientific, logical approach to the world. It's like the brooms here-- the dustpans all have really long handles so you don't have to bend over to use them. Great, right? But, then all the brooms have awkwardly short handles, so you have to stoop over to use them....
First of all, even Russians will tell you to avoid Russian hospitals like the plague, probably because the plague is most likely rampant in the hospitals here. So what do you do when you get sick in this country? This is a vital question because Russians are sick ALL THE TIME. And when they are sick, they tell you about it. A lot. And they don't come to class or work. It is common knowledge that you can be too sick to go to class one day and show up the next day without a symptom in sight. It isn't just a matter of you should stay home, you MUST stay home. And no way Jose can you question someone who was "sick" about it.
Anyway, let me tell you what sorts of things go on to prevent and stop illness. First, tea. Lots of it, very hot, with lemon. Not sounding too weird yet? Add a virus-killing machine that you can park next to your desk. Virus-KILLING?-- you ask. The rest of the world is not yet aware that viruses can be KILLED. But that is Russia for you. Don't argue, don't go out without a hat on, don't sit on the floor or anything cold, and above all do NOT open a window if you feel too hot. You may open a window, but then you must leave the room, and only come back when you close the window. Cold air is in fact, ok, but THE DRAFT will kill you. Immediately. And all your future children. Which you'll be lucky to have anyway after sitting on that cold stone, and WHY DIDN'T YOU DRINK THAT 5TH CUP OF TEA LIKE I TOLD YOU?????? The weird thing is, this is not just the old women and the folk lore of the country. Everyone believes this. More than believes, KNOWS it to be true. Young people! University-educated, self-proclaimed doctors and lawyers!
It is something that really has to be experienced to be believed. (My adult students telling me that it is HEALTHY to jump into ice water at night in the winter because it is cold outside. In the summer, you must avoid cold water like Russian hospitals because it is HOT outside. It isn't good to cool down if you are hot.) Strangers on the street, who in this country would not stop to pick up an old woman if she fell (true), will stop to yell at you to put on a hat!
So I had a bit of an issue being sick because despite the fact that I was American sick (actually sick), my boss was pretty sure that I was not doing all I could to come back to work quickly. While also telling me to go home, because I was going to get everyone sick. She actually couldn't quite make up her mind what she was telling me, to be quite honest. "GO HOME IMMEDIATELY! But, you are coming to work tomorrow, right?" "If I'm better." (LOOOOONG measuring look + awkward silence.) I also, most unfortunately, did not have a high temperature. Now, much as I trust the $1 thermometer I bought, I was sweating, dehydrated and burning up with the window open in the middle of a winter night. This was not good enough. On every one of the 5-6 calls a day I was receiving, I was required to cite the NUMBERS. (In Celsius, so I actually had no idea what I was telling her anyway.) "That isn't high, you are ok." (I, in fact, am NOT ok. That I can assure you of. In fact, I have not been this sick in YEARS.) Also, apparently there is NO way that thermometer could malfunction. No possible way? NONE. Anyway, last night I stepped on it and shattered it, so maybe now there is a possible way it doesn't work.
Just to finish this blog up, let me recount what I learned about Russian childbirth, which takes place in Russian hospitals, and is also probably one of the worst things I have learned about in this country. 1.) Women are not allowed to have anyone in the room with them while they are in labor. Alone, or with the doctor, for the entire time. It is to protect against germs. Oh, of course, that is unless they want to pay a lot of extra money. Money does have a way of killing germs, that is for sure. 2.) After the baby is born, they immediately take it from the new mother and put it in a germ-free baby ward for a week. The mother is allowed to feed the baby a few times a day; for the other numerous feedings, the nurses give the baby formula. Most babies lose weight their first week. Of course, if you want your baby with you for that first week, you can pay extra for that. You will of course still be in the hospital, because you are not allowed to leave until that week is up either.
There is something really, really wrong with all this. There really are a lot of weirdly incomplete ideas and logic failures here, which just don't make sense since the foundation is there for a scientific, logical approach to the world. It's like the brooms here-- the dustpans all have really long handles so you don't have to bend over to use them. Great, right? But, then all the brooms have awkwardly short handles, so you have to stoop over to use them....
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